you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
