The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
