I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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