what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
