Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Houston, we have a blender
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
