from now on my penis is your penis
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My vagina just recognized that song.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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