i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
