i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
