shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize