Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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