its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
