i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
