New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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