none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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