The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
