you traded sex for a burrito?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
