You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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