if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
