Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
