He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
