is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
