i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i already hear my dad disowning me
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
