Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
this will be a night to untag.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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