she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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