i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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