Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize