What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
