WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
