Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
