I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
