Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
