He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
worst night to have a conscience
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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