So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
