the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
