ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
