Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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