i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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