Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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