Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
FUCK WHALES
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
