"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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