Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You did what with his pubic hair?
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