At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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