You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
