The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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