Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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