Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
