Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
