Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
