lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize