Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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