margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
