Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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