when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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