My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
