Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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