Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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