batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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