Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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