Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
