I bet he comes in French.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
