Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
