just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
