If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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