Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
id be glad to
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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