its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
