it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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