Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
