Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Still dying that you shit outside
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
