Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
