dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
