this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
