I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
