I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
All the doctor said was why
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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