it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize