I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
